It is estimated that 85% of the world population struggles with low self-esteem, and this issue has further escalated in recent times due to the impact of social media. As parents, we all want our children to grow into confident, resilient individuals who can successfully navigate the complexities of modern life, however, building self-esteem and self-confidence in our youth in today’s fast-paced, digitally-driven world, has become particularly challenging, and this is why we’re driving focus on empowering youth to develop the skills and character they need to thrive and emerge as confident leaders with our Mastering Public Speaking program at Youthversity Academy.
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence
Although they overlap, self-esteem and self confidence are different. Self-esteem is simply a person’s overall sense of value or self-worth, while self-confidence is a person’s belief in themselves or their abilities to succeed in specific situations. It’s about trusting your ability to perform tasks or face challenges effectively.
The key building Blocks of Self-Esteem is a strong sense of self identity which encompasses self acceptance – recognizing and accepting oneself including strengths and weaknesses, self-respect – valuing self and maintaining dignity, self- love – showing kindness and compassion towards self, and sense of belonging – feeling accepted and loved by family and peers). In the same vein, the key building blocks of self-confidence is competence – gaining skills and knowledge through practice and learning, courage -willingness to take risks and face fears, positive reinforcement – receiving encouragement and praise from others, achievement – accomplishing goals and recognizing successes.
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A perfect illustration of an excellent self esteem and self confidence is the historical David vs Goliath story. David, a teen shepherd (and I presume) scrawny looking lad, made bold to take on the mighty and scary giant, Goliath, whom the entire army battalion of mighty men of Israel was too afraid to face. The audacity of his statements, “For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God? …. “You come to me with swords but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts”, … “This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand” showed an impeccable self -identity of himself as part of God’s army and unwavering self confidence and absolute trust in God’s ability to deliver Goliath into his hand. We all know how it ends, David slays the giant and all is right with the world.
I’ve heard a mentor of mine say recently that confidence is greater than competence and I couldn’t agree more in this scenario. Imagine that David lacked the confidence and courage to confront Goliath because he was focused on comparing Goliath’s size, muscles or reputation to himself as an indication of strength and competence. There would have never been a victorious story to tell.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can stem from various sources, including:
- Negative Self-Talk and constant self criticism.
- Comparison to Others leading to feelings of inadequacy
- Bullying or Negative criticism from others.
- Unrealistic Expectations due to setting unachievable standards for oneself.
Low Self-Esteem in Adolescents may be expressed as;
- Avoidance of Challenges: Reluctance to try new things or take on challenges due to fear of failure.
- Social Withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions and feeling uncomfortable in group settings.
- Negative Self-Image: Frequently expressing negative thoughts about oneself.
- Sensitivity to negative feedback or criticism. Overreacting to criticism or perceived rejection.
Low self esteem is the bedrock of many academic and social issues that are prevalent in adolescence, from low academic achievement to risky behaviours such as teenage sexual relations & pregnancy, violent behaviour, school dropout rates, addictions and suicide.
Strategies to Building Formidable Self-Confidence in Teens
- Encourage Positive Self-Talk: Help your child recognize and challenge negative thoughts, replacing them with positive affirmations.
- Promote a Growth Mindset: Teach your child to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as threats to their self-worth.
- Set Realistic Goals: Encourage your child to set achievable goals and celebrate their progress, no matter how small.
- Provide Constructive Feedback: Offer specific, constructive feedback that focuses on effort and improvement, rather than just outcomes.
- Model Confidence: Demonstrate self-confidence in your actions and words, serving as a positive role model for your child.
- Foster Independence: Allow your child to take on responsibilities and make decisions, helping them build a sense of competence and autonomy.
- Create a Supportive Environment where your child feels loved, accepted, valued and heard.
- Encourage Participation in Character Building Activities: Support your child’s involvement in sports, hobbies, faith based communities or other activities where they can develop skills and confidence.
These strategies and more are embedded in our Mastering Public Speaking program launching this summer at Youthversity Academy to foster confidence and empower our adolescents to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and a positive sense of self. It really does take a village to raise a child and our motivation lies in being the trusted community supporting our children needs, helping them to discover and unleash their full potential.
